Seek first to understand

One of the concepts that Stephen Covey taught us in his book, the seven habits of highly successful people is to first seek to understand the other person then be understood and how many of us in interpersonal relationships, um intimate relationships, we are trying to be understood by the other person, we’re trying to spit our point of view, and even when they’re talking we’re just sitting there, not really listening, we’re waiting to give our point of view back, but if we actually sit there and we kind of we actually really try to understand what the other person is saying, understand where they’re coming from.

Then after that, after we understand their model of the world after we understand what they’re saying, then we come back and we give our opinion, our viewpoint. That creates much more flow dynamics. So instead of two people just trying to be understood by the other, really get the other person really sit there and understand them, get them.

And sometimes just by you listening, it helps clear them or whatever they were there, and it creates a more open dialogue between the two of you.

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